


An Aversion to Profanity

by Sarina_Argus



Category: DC Comics
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 22:55:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21216404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarina_Argus/pseuds/Sarina_Argus
Summary: Superman joins Nightwing on patrol





	An Aversion to Profanity

An Aversion to Profanity

I fucked Superman tonight. We didn’t make love. We didn’t have sex. It wasn’t even tidy enough to be called ‘doing it.’ We fucked on the roof of my apartment building between the air conditioning vents and the ledge to the fire escape.

We may have kissed once or twice, but I’m sure we didn’t mean it. Hell, I know I didn’t, and I’m sure as hell he didn’t. I think it was just something to fill the time while we got clothing out of the way.

I can’t really say how we ended up fucking. It started out as your normal night. He was in Bludhaven slumming it. No… to be fair I was the one who said he was slumming it. He said he wanted to lend me a hand, since the Titans and YJ kinda bled over into patrolling Metropolis. Personally I didn’t care. I was glad for the help.

It started off slow enough, the usual bag-snatchers and occasional gang-banger wanting to stir up trouble. Nothing I’d even worry about on a normal night. We didn’t even have to lay a finger on the dickheads. Just me and Big Blue staring ominously while some 17-year old wannabe pissed himself. Supes didn’t find it that funny. Me, I thought it was hysterical, especially when a wet spot the size of Missouri suddenly appears after Superman melted his Glock 17 into a puddle of Teflon, plastic and porcelain with lumpy metal chunks thrown in for good measure. Roy would have been doubled over. Roy’s another good fuck, but then that’s another story.

Where was I? Oh yeah. So we patrolled together, getting our rhythm set and the last punks we bust are a bunch of drug dealers who sold to kids younger than Tim. Rumor had it that they accepted things other than money, if you had the right look. 

It was hard to show any kind of mercy or pity. In fact, it felt pretty good hearing the wet soppy crack of some asshole too stupid to stand still and instead chose to break his leg trying to crawl over a brick wall. No accounting for brains here. I didn’t even touch him. His buddy… lets just say his nose probably won’t look the same in his next mug shot.

Anyways, we trussed them up, called it in and waited for the cops to show up. Two guys, both from my squad rolled up, saw the big S and red cape, and tipped their hats to big blue and said, “Fuck you. Fuck you very much.” 

Guess that didn’t happen too often to him. I used to wonder why Bruce called him ‘hayseed.’ I guess he’s not used to being cussed out by any city’s finest. In any case, he stepped away from the ledge and stared at me. 

“They treat you like that all the time?” he asked.

“No, they were pretty polite. Usually I get more attitude.” I shrugged. “Must have been the cape.”  
Superman sat down hard. “I don’t understand. We’re here to help them. I mean, heck, you work with these guys.”

I started coughing at ‘heck.’ 

“I don’t understand why they do this to you,” he finished.

“Because of what I do to them,” I answered. “We did in 20 minutes what Narcs has been trying to do for 2 months. We handed them these dirtbags on a platter and in essence, made the squad look like fresh out of the academy trainees, still stuck on procedure with their dicks in their hands.”

“But geez Louise, you’d think they’d have some respect, or show some gratitude.”

More coughing.

“I mean, it wasn’t like they were running an op or anything.”

“No,” I countered. “But we did make it look easy. It fucks them up.”

“Even if we messed up an op….”

“Fuck. I said we fucked them up.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “Fine. We… fuff… them up.” He mumbles worse than Tim.

I couldn’t help myself. I howled. “The Man of Steel, paralyzed by the F word.”

I wouldn’t say he looked pissed. But he definitely wasn’t happy. I kept pushing buttons. “Come on, Clark, you can’t tell me you don’t say ‘fuck.’ Everyone says it.’

“I don’t. It’s an ugly, misused word.”

“Misused?” I laughed then. “Fuck is a noun, a verb, fuck, it can be pretty much anything you want.” I think he said something here, but I was on a roll. “I mean, noun. ‘You’re a fuck.’ Verb: ‘I fuck, you fuck, he/she/it fucks…’”

“I get the point, Dick,” he growled. “But that’s not what it’s supposed to be used for.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I nodded, “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. The act of copulation, tab a into slot b or c, depending on your preference.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Come on, when do you use it?”

“I don’t.” 

I leaned in closer. “Not at all, not when you’re pissed, when some asshole in a black Hummer cuts you off in traffic… Doesn’t your woman like it? Her All-American boy talking dirty to her…”

I knew he wouldn’t have hit me. I would have banked on it. But I never expected him to kiss me. He pressed me up against the bricks and I could feel his dick, rock hard pressing against my Kevlar jock.

Superman got off on talking dirty.

I really don’t know who started it, but he ended up bottom, and I slapped his ass until he begged. He didn’t take much prep, and thinking about it now, I don’t think he would have let me waited. I slid my cock into him and jacked him off at the same time, all the while how much I’d wanted to fuck him, to yank him ‘til streams of cum shot all over his face. It didn’t take long, for him or for me. 

So there we were, lying on my roof, half naked with our dicks limp, exposed to the world. I looked over and smiled at him. He blushed and fumbled himself back into his shorts. He flew off without even so much as a goodbye.

Me, I crawled down the fire escape, in through my window and had a shower. Crawling into bed, I wondered how long it would take for the boss to find out.

I fucked Superman tonight. I wonder if Batman could say the same.


End file.
